從小在作文範本中經常讀到我們是生命的舵手，每當寫一些我的希望之類的文章，也經常愛在「我是國家未來的主人翁」「社會的棟樑」的開場白之後，加上一句「我是生命的舵手」。雖然這個詞彙我在小學就已經學到，但在生命的洪流中，我從來沒有覺得自己是什麼舵手，倒覺得自己是在一片汪洋中載浮載沉，沒有被淹沒已經是萬幸。
一月接到Dr. Provvidenti妻子過世的消息，我建議錫東最好趁著新年假期前往美國探視Dr. Provvidenti。 他是錫東和我非常尊敬的一位康乃爾大學教授，他在錫東的學術研究上一直扮演非常重要的角色，可是錫東因為工作實在太忙無法分身，所以我隻身前往。
在紐約州Geneva小鎮，我見到這位年近九十，曾經是國際上赫赫有名的學者。因為剛喪失妻子，又曾經動過腦部手術，健康欠佳，一個人獨居，足不出戶。所幸他過去因為熱情溫暖，助人無數，人緣極佳。他原先來自義大利，一直保有義大利傳統家庭觀念，也就是親密的親子關係，所以雖然兒女都遠住他方，但卻還能盡到照顧的責任。Dr. Provvidenti年輕時曾經參與世界二次大戰，如不是戰後進入實驗室工作，根本不可能從軍人角色轉換成學者身分。也因為到了美國研究所，最後才會定居美國，娶了美國妻子。他如何在每個階段操控人生方向，造成他人生戲劇化的改變。
Geneva是我們的第二故鄉，當初錫東在康乃爾就讀時，我們是鎮上唯一的中國家庭，因此我們很幸運結交了許多美國朋友，當初有的是教授，有的是學生，二十餘年後異地重遊，原先所有朋友都已青春不再，甚至垂垂老矣。二十餘年前無法預知每個人的命運將如何發展，二十年後舊地重遊，彷彿閱讀一本小說，故事結尾呼之欲出。
聽著所有朋友娓娓道來別後的日子，我突然覺得我終於明白「生命的舵手」的意義。二十餘年前所有的朋友，幾乎有著極度相似的背景，每個人都在學術界工作或是學習，有個小小家庭，生活簡單，經濟拮据。但這些年來因為每個人掌舵的方向不同，生命有了極大的差異。有的朋友幸福美滿，有的朋友悲傷哀怨；有的朋友事業有成，有的朋友鬱鬱寡歡；有的朋友婚姻和諧，有的朋友夫妻劍拔弩張；有的朋友兒女傑出優秀，有的朋友兒女視同路人。
看著朋友有著幸福美滿的人生，我為他們高興；但看著朋友在生命中掙扎，我為他們憂傷。想著這些朋友，我很清楚的知道，錫東和我真正是我們自己生命的舵手，未來的人生如何？全靠我們如何掌舵！
在Geneva 鎮拜訪Dr.Provvidenti和農業試驗所所長Dr.Hunter夫婦
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Ever since I was young, I have learned the Chinese proverb ‘We are the people who steer the boat of the life’. Whenever I was assigned to write an essay about what I wanted to be, I always added this proverb in my writing. However, I never understood what it really meant. Instead, I found I barely could keep my head above the water in the stream of life.
Last January we heard the sad news that Margret, Dr. Provvidenti’s wife, had passed away. I tried to persuade Shyi-Dong to go back to America to visit him. Dr. Provvidenti is the professor we revere and he has played a very important role in Shyi-Dong’s research work. However, Shyi-Dong couldn’t make the trip because he was caught up in an overwhelming workload. Therefore, I made the trip by myself.
In the small town of Geneva, NY, I met Dr. Provvidenti who was nearly 90. Since he just lost his wife and had had a brain surgery recently, he confined himself at home alone. Fortunately, he has lots of friends whom he helped or socialized in the past keep an eye on him. In addition, his children take good care of him because the Provvidentis have kept close family bonds due to its Italian background. Dr. Provvidenti was a veteran from World War II. He became a scientist after he worked in a lab. Then he moved to America, married an American woman, and became a world famous scientist. Indeed, Dr. Provvidentis has a dramatic life. He has changed his life from a soldier to a top world scientist because he has steered his boat carefully.
Geneva is like our second home town. When we lived there, we were the only Chinese family, so we were showered with friendship from our American friends. Twenty some years ago, no one knew what kind of life we would have, but now that we are all getting into old. It is like reading the last few chapters of a novel, we can almost tell what the ending will be.
After listening to all the friends’ catch-ups, I feel that I finally understand why we are the people who steer the boat of life. Twenty some years ago, we were very much the same with each other. We worked or studied in the academic field, had a small family, lived simple but financially tight lives. Now everyone has developed their individual stories. Some are successful in terms of family, career and finance. Some are miserable.
I am very happy to hear all the good news about our
friends, but I feel sad with those friends who suffer. All of a sudden, I realized that Shy-Dong
and I are steering our own boat, and the life is truly in our hands.
懷念的Geneva鄰居
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