我們的好朋友女兒大學考試失利，她決定重考，而且接受補習班魔鬼訓練，吃住全在補習班，期盼來年能有佳績。想到如此青春可愛的女孩，要把她的荳蔻年華消磨在補習班，又想到同樣年紀的孩子可以在國外享受著她們花樣年華，我們很是捨不得，再三詢問她的父母真的值得這麼做嗎？青春年華隨風而逝，我自己沒有女兒，但一直深信烏鴉可以變鳳凰，只要嫁個好老公，一生就可以幸福美滿。
我們的朋友告訴我，時代不同了，女孩也要靠自己，幸福快樂才能掌握在手中。這讓我想到過去大家相信命運，尤其是女人，嫁雞隨雞嫁狗隨狗，即使到處充斥著家暴，外遇與貧困，但顯少有離婚，似乎大家都奉行禮運大同篇，男有分，女有歸，老吾老幼吾幼，不像今日不婚不生不養。過去雖然家家有本難念的經，但社會是安定的。
如今女權高張，男人也追求自由，結婚年齡不斷往後延伸，過去奉父母之命，現在是奉子之命，但即便結了婚，夫妻兩人各自發展，沒人願意認命，離婚，單親家庭造成多少社會問題？老祖宗的認命，犧牲了個人，但卻安定了社會，如今大家各自追夢，誰也不認命，但人生更是複雜。烏托邦何處尋？
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Is There Any Utopia?
Our close friend’s daughter failed the College Entrance Examination and decided to take Spartan training in a cram school to prepare for next year’s examination. The intense training got its name as devil’s camp because it demanded students to study around the clock with very little time left for eating and sleeping. I felt very sorry for the young girl to have to go through such an ordeal. Most girls at her age who live abroad could enjoy their life by doing many other things than studying. Why should this young girl suffer at her prime time of life? Is it worth it? I don’t have daughters but I have always believed that a happy life is guaranteed if a woman marries the right man. It seems that it is more important to be likable than to be capable for a woman to find her Mr. Right.
Our friends disagreed. They told me the culture has changed. Women have to be independent so they can seek their own happiness in life. It is true that in the past women believe in fate. Once they got married, they accepted everything no matter if it was good or bad. In other words, they had to deal with a husband’s abuse, cheating or irresponsibility, etc. They swallowed the bitterness but took care of the family and raised the kids. People believed that there was a right time to get married, to have children, to look after the elderly. They simply followed this natural rule. No matter how many sad stories were hidden in different families, the society seemed to be peaceful.
Now women talk about fulfilling their dreams. Fewer women want to get married and bear children because they don’t want to lose the opportunities to chase their dreams. More divorces and single-parent families make the society different than before. In the past, people sacrificed themselves to save the family, but the society was relatively stable. Now people seem to enjoy themselves more, but the society suffers. Is there any utopia in real life?
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