想著自己在舞蹈上只是個永遠追不到夢想的逐夢人，對自己真是失望，覺得自己對舞蹈的狂熱真是無可救藥。
今天舞蹈老師提起近日來一對學生的進步，令他們覺得不可思議。他們的讚美，令我羨慕又妒忌。長久以來我多麼盼望自己也是老師心目中的優等生，但是錫東對舞蹈的期望與我截然不同，自然而然會有爭執。我凡事追求完美，所以認為練習是通往成功的唯一途徑，錫東和我正好相反，他認為休閒的事不需太認真，更何況他永遠有做不完的事，練舞是極為奢侈的事。
聽到老師稱讚別人，心裡真是吃味。但也因為他們的話，讓我突然茅塞頓開。的確，成為美麗的舞者是我追尋的夢，ㄧ個很難圓的夢，因為很難實現，所以很是挫折。或許因為我太在意，也就更難做好。當一件事我已經盡了全力，但結果依舊差強人意，是否應該改變心態，認清事實，以豁達的心情去接受不完美，不再專注不可能擁有的，但珍惜已經擁有的。如果我不再在乎結果，而只是盡情地舞在當下，舞出自我，舞出婚姻，我的舞蹈雖不完美但卻會很真摯，因為它將會是我生命的縮影，世間獨一無二的。
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Change
I was in such a bitter and dismayed mood when I wrote about myself as a dreamer. It was true that I felt like a loser when I couldn’t see any hopes in my dance.
Today my dance teachers excitedly shared one of their newly findings at work. They told me how impressed they were with a couple’s improvement. Their words made me jealous. Practice makes perfect is a golden rule in dance. There is no need to say that the students will make a significant improvement if they practice hard everyday. Over those years, Shyi-Dong and I kept fighting on how much time we should spend on practicing. For me, practice is a must. For Shyi-Dong, practice is a waste. In fact, he has no time at all except for work. The fun of dancing disappeared when we continued to fight.
The teachers’ compliments on other students made me feel heavy, but their words suddenly opened my eyes to see myself. Yes, dancing well is a dream to me, a dream hard to fulfill. I always feel frustrated because I have tried my best but the turnout is disappointing. The teachers’ words made me wander if I can never change the facts probably I should try to change my attitude. Should I focus on what I have or should I focus on what I don’t have? Should I focus on my strength but not weakness? Should I continue to worry lots of things and lock my soul inside? Perhaps I should just open myself up, enjoy what I have and appreciate the opportunity of being able to dance. If I don’t mind the outcomes, I believe my dance will look different because it will express just a true side of me. My dance will be a reflection of my life which will be unique.
中興大學募款餐會表演
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