好朋友寄了幾則笑話給我，其中一則寫著：青春就像衛生紙，看著挺多的，用著用著就不夠了。
昨晚如同往常一樣獨自一人在舞蹈教室練舞。窗外傾盆大雨，但教室裡依然人聲鼎沸。為著即將來臨的舞蹈公開賽與表演，老師和學員們認真的練習著。望著舞板上優雅旋轉的身影，心中五味夾陳。
舞蹈一直是一個夢，年輕時我無法實現，因為找不到好老師。尋尋覓覓，老師終於找到了，但這個夢卻更難實現，因為青春不再。
多麼盼望能夠舞出極致，但如何能期望錫東花更多的時間？舞蹈不是比手畫腳，而是感情的詮釋，沒有生命的舞蹈，美感何在？如何能將雙人舞與現實切割，讓舞蹈歸舞蹈，感情歸感情，那又是更大難題。
ㄧ個美麗的舞蹈需要許許多多條件，而這些條件過去不曾具備，現在更是欠缺，原來心中的最愛最終只是一個夢，情何以堪？一心想做的卻怎麼也做不到，情何以堪？青春飛逝，發現自己只是一個逐夢人，情何以堪！
2008年舞會
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Dreamer
A good friend sent me a few pieces of jokes. One of them said: Youth is like tissue. It looks a lot but it’s gone quickly.
Last night I was practicing dance alone at the studio as usual. Even though the rain was pouring outside, the studio was packed. The students and teachers were busy practicing for the upcoming big event. Watching them twirl and swirl on the dance floor, my heart ached.
Dancing has always been a dream. When I was young, I couldn’t bring it real because there were no teachers. Now I finally found teachers, but it is even harder to fulfill this dream. My time has gone. I am not young any more.
How much I wish I could dance beautifully, but how could that happen? I can’t expect Shyi-Dong to spend more time because it is beyond the reality. I can’t expect anyone else to do it with me because I don’t want it become just a business. The beauty of the dance is beyond the movement. How can the dance look good if there is no life in it? But how can it have life if it is just a business? Dancing is an expression of love. How can the dancers set a boundary if they are unrelated but still want to make the dance look lovely?
It is painful to see what I love dearly in the life is just a dream. It is painful to see all the essential elements missing in what I want to do so eagerly. When I was young, I had a better chance to look good on the dance floor, but now I am just like a dreamer chasing a dream which can hardly be fulfilled. How painful it is!
爸媽跳舞，爾康攝影
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